Monkey Sex, Bum Plants and the Mysterious Ham Shark

Posted on 15th October 2011 in Bum plant, Carnivorous Plants, Crazy Car Man, Idiocy, Sea Monkeys

Crazy Farm is living up to it’s name, helped somewhat by Crazy Car Man and his most-excellent-pills bringing out his inner whacko.  My inner whacko needs little to no encouragement to make an appearance and so is reveling in the uncommon appearance of Crazy Car Man’s.

The madness started a few weeks ago whilst shopping at Toys R Us.  I was meant to be buying birthday presents for the nephews and niece but was thoroughly distracted by the aisle after aisle of awesome toy stuff.  How a tiny kiddy with the attention span of shoe handles that shop is beyond me, because I am thirty five years old and I couldn’t resist letting out a shriek of covetousness when I spied the Sea Monkeys.

They weren’t a part of my childhood menagerie and so I had to make up for that lack (severe childhood deprivation – must have words with parents – dogs, fish and birds were simply not adequate).  I set them up on the window sill alongside the carnivorous plants (who are licking their chops and having their own covetous thoughts) added water and waited with bated breath.  So, while not completely instantaneous, I did have movement after a couple of days.  And they haven’t stopped growing since.

Or partaking in a bit of nookie.

That’s right, I’ve bred a bunch of fiends who have monkey sex at every opportunity.  They’re at it constantly, and it’s quite distracting.  Though it is quite amusing watching Crazy Car Man on his most-excellent-pills being hypnotised by the whirly gig activity in the tank.

Photographing them is quite tricky.

And they chose this moment to have a break from the adults only activities, but you can kind of see what they look like.

Continuing on in the gutter, I have a new addition to the plant collection that lives on the window sill.  It’s a lithop (living stone) of some variety, but has been renamed by Crazy Car Man as the bum plant.

No further explanation is required really.  It is what it is – a plant disguised as a stone, disguised as a bum (albeit, a bum with an unfortunate skin condition).  Awesome!  My inner thirteen year old boy sniggers every time!

So I was driving home from work today, figuring out what to have for dinner, when my inner whacko, let off the leash and encouraged by Crazy Car Man’s decided on this….

Greens, Eggs and Ham.  Boom tish!  Made me laugh all the way home, and then when I told Crazy Car Man, he ran with it, and in the spirit of our one fish shower of the other day he came up with the mysterious ham shark….

Yes, I know, you can’t take us anywhere – but then who needs to go anywhere when you’ve got fish falling out of the sky,  sea monkeys having monkey sex on your window sill, bum plants mooning you from the safety of their pots and Crazy Car Man off his nut on painkillers?

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Fish Falling From the Sky

Posted on 10th October 2011 in Crazy Car Man, Field at the Front, Mysterious Happenings

I injured Crazy Car Man on the weekend. I put him to work and made him use the evil wheelbarrow, which promptly got bogged in our rain soaked Field at the Front, causing him to jar his back. He was in so much pain I had to dress him this morning (I think he’s slightly more co-operative to dress than a toddler, but he weighs probably 10 times as much….the feet that go in the socks are so much bigger!)
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Leaving a trail of drooling men in her wake….

Posted on 26th September 2011 in Blog Friends, Crazy Car Man, Kingswood

She came, she drank home brew, she conquered!

Bub, of I’d Like To Hold A Tarantula, made time in her busy schedule of adoring Most Esteemed First Granddaughter to come down to Crazy Farm to hang out with Crazy Car Man and me!
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Real Estate Agents, the Fifty Dollar Cauli and Stompin’ Landlord – The Crappiest Season of the Year 2011

Posted on 19th September 2011 in Crazy Car Man, Field at the Front, Idiocy, Vegetables

Crazy Car Man and I are trying to buy a house. We don’t want a big old house with loads of rooms and massive gold plated fixtures and fancy pants kitchens and bathrooms with open air bathing arenas. We have a budget, an A side of needs and B side of wants and a core list of absolute deal breakers. We find houses that meet the majority of A side, most of B side, within budget and with no deals broken and then we have to deal with the dreaded, most horrendous of all human beings in the world.
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I Got a Greenhouse!

I’ve always wanted a greenhouse – ever since I saw Hugh of River Cottage use his as a sauna I thought it would be a marvelous addition to my garden, not only for my poor plants that suffer through our diabolical winter* but also for myself, who has to suffer through our diabolical winter*. I would gladly put up with the indignities of frizzy hair if it meant being able to sit in a hot, humid cube of sweaty, planty loveliness whilst giving the finger to the cold winter weather on the outside.
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Dear Cockatoos – you suck – Love Crazy Garden Lady

Posted on 6th June 2011 in Chickens, Cockatoos

My dislike for cockatoos has been well documented over the last year – I used to think they were pretty until they wreaked havoc on my beautiful sunflowers, and then it was all out war.

A war that they are currently winning.
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Homage to The Pink House

Posted on 29th May 2011 in Crazy Car Man, Foreign Lands, Just Stuff, Travel

Once upon a time, in a land far far away from the rest of the world, there was a castle – a pink castle known affectionately by its residents as The Pink House – and in that castle, amongst the ever changing cast of characters that resided there for one night or one hundred nights, there lived a Crazy Man in room 9 and a Crazy Lady in room 6.
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Roadtrip 2011 Part 2: Green Desert, Lots of Lakes and the Most Boring Tour in the World

Posted on 20th May 2011 in Crazy Car Man, Just Stuff, Multimedia, The Bush, Travel

With bellies full of damper and spirits fortified by proper Italian coffee (I may be willing to sleep on the ground but I can not start my day without proper coffee, and so the moka pot gets to go on holidays as well) we pealed out of Hay and headed west to Mildura, a town on the Mighty Murray River, known for it’s grape production, and more importantly, it’s wine production.
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Roadtrip 2011 Part 1: In Which We Camp

Posted on 8th May 2011 in Bugs, Cooking, Crazy Car Man, The Bush, Travel

We’d packed up the ute with all the camping accoutrements we thought we would need, in a fashion some would call haphazard and we would call as organised as Crazy Car Man and Crazy Garden Lady can be.  With grins of anticipation and only an hour behind schedule we hit the road.  Roadtrip 2011 had begun!
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And a Partridge in a Pear Tree

Posted on 2nd May 2011 in Chickens

Is it normal for chooks to sit in trees or have we got our hands on some superhero chooks? I’m really hoping for the latter because I’m planning my early retirement courtesy of the talk show circuit.
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