Back in the olden days, when I was a lean mean dancing machine, I would stare critically at myself in the mirror, searching for fat rolls or cellulite or some random bulge that would ruin the line of my leotard. I would bend over to the side, grabbing for the roll of skin that would form and moan like I meant it to my Mum. I’m so fat! I would whine. Look, Mum, look at all my fat!
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Things My Mum Says
The Great Winter Tomato Hoax
There is nothing better than a cheese and tomato sandwich, on really fresh bread, with salt and pepper. Even just writing about it makes me crave one.
Crazy Car Man doesn’t agree. In his opinion, until very very recently, the only thing a tomato was good for was making tomato sauce. And he has a point – in the shops, tomatoes are crap. In fact, in his opinion, tomatoes come in a close second to his most hated fruit, known as The Fruit of the Devil (seriously, he says it in capital letters), the dreaded pineapple.
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1.52pm
Saturday morning was so hot I pulled the gardening shorts on for the first time since May. I sent up a warning flare first so people in the vicinity could put their sunglasses on before looking at the legs directly – it is akin to looking at the sun, the glare will leave leg shaped black spots before your eyes for days afterward.
The shorts and I zoomed up to the nursery to buy some potting mix, as some of the tomato seedlings are requesting an upgrade to business class, and on the way there I spotted the cloud.
It was black. It was roiling. It was moving in fast. It looked angry and like it might have some hail to throw on my cars and my garden. The nursery folk were outside pulling the lettuce seedlings undercover, always a bad sign, so I threw some money on the counter and a couple of bags of potting mix into the boot and headed home like the hounds of hell were on my heels.
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Garden Kitsch Vertigo
I have a confession to make – the most amazing source of visual pleasure in my garden right now is my rusty wheelbarrow full of colourful flowers. It freaks me out slightly to say that because a wheelbarrow of flowers is up there in the highest echelons of garden kitsch. I’ve always had garden kitsch vertigo. Wishing wells, model trains, giant fake boots, gnomes and wheelbarrows have always given me a minor case of the horrors. Even giant concrete fly agarics (unless accompanied by Smurfs……) make me recoil.
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Mother Nature Takes It Back
Crazy Car Man is an upstanding member of our community. We live in a high risk fire zone and he has proven his worth as an Australian permanent resident by joining the Rural Fire Service. He gains a lot from this venture – doing something good for the community, meeting people in the area, exploring the bush trails around our home and getting to be a hero on occasion. I gain a lot from this venture – he has a fireman’s uniform!
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Seven Things
Drum roll…………Cape on the Corner take a bow!
I can’t remember exactly how I found Madame Cape, it was quite possibly in the wee hours and I was doing my usual blog catch up and something on someone’s blog made me go somewhere and somehow I ended up in the burbs of Philadelphia absorbed in the trials and tribulations of renovating the Cape on the Corner. I nodded and pondered and laughed out loud and finally left a post and have been back again and again putting my two cents in whenever I feel the urge. I like the way she writes – she’s snappy and eloquent and amusing and for that alone she’s on the cool list.
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Pah, I Spit On Your Sunshine
When I got my Hellebore and then researched it (yes, I do tend to do these things a little wonky, most folk would research and then buy, but this is my way of rebelling against societal norms – buying plants as a social statement, how punk rock of me) I discovered that these little beauties will live quite happily in a shady position. So mine got the five star shady treatment, a prime position in the Porch Garden, with bright light but no direct sunshine.
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The Naked Egg
I live on a farm with roughly 150 free range chooks. Marge the Chook Lady, custodian of the farm’s chicken population, talks to them, compliments them, tells them they’re beautiful and occasionally shouts at them and tells them they are being greedy – this usually happens when they peck her legs trying to get her to hurry up with the food already.
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A Tour of My Funny Little Garden
I’ve added a Photosynth tour of my funny little garden – check it out on About.
And because I’ve finally learned how to make mosaics, I’ve created one using my phone photos.
It’s been a busy Sunday in Crazy Garden Lady Land!
Le Fromage Yoda
I’m currently watching Masterchef Australia sans sound – the best way to watch it – and while I have no idea what is actually going on during the master class, it looks like a stretched to human height and made pink Yoda is showing a couple of humans how to poke garlic into a round of Brie, chuck on a glass of red and garnish with a sprig of something green before baking in a medium oven for 10.
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