It sounds like the kind of euphemistic prose you’d get in a certain type of romance novel – you know the ones I mean – the ones that have a liberal sprinkling of words like sword and lance and aren’t about sixteenth century military.
To get in the spirit of all things inspired by romance novels, I shall be referred to as Carrotelle de Summergarden and Crazy Car Man will henceforth be known as Count Automaniac of Kingswoodtopia. I have masses of titian curls and creamy shoulders (I’ve never understood that description) and the Count smoulders from beyond his lantern jaw (and smells just a little bit like car exhaust). Please feel free to give yourself a new, romance novel inspired name and description.
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